68. Loving Your Adopted Kids Well, with Allison Douglas

As fathers, we desire to love our kids fully and unconditionally. If you're a father to adopted kids, is the desire of your heart any different? Of course not. But adoption does present unique challenges. As adoptive fathers, we need to understand those challenges and how to connect with our kids amid the unique nature of the adoptive parent-child relationship. In this episode we talk with Allison Douglas, Resource Center Program Director at Harmony Family Center, about her experience both professionally and as a parent of four adopted kids herself. We explore the inherent trauma present in all adopted kids and what it means for adoptive fathers, the 7 Core Frameworks for Adoption, why rejection hurts so much, how to tailor your relationship with each of your adopted kids, what "good outcomes" means when it comes to raising adopted kids, and how to grow personally so that we can best handle the challenges of adoption -- all with an eye toward loving our adopted kids well. Allison shares so many profound insights during this conversation that will encourage you, give you hope, and equip you with the tools you need to love your kids even better.


About Our Guest

Allison Cooke Douglas, M.S., IECMH-E®, is the Resource Center Program Director at Harmony Family in Knoxville, TN and serves as a post-permanency expert at the National Center for Enhanced Post-Adoption Support. Over the past decade, Allison’s work has focused on post-permanency family support. She has developed and presented curricula regarding therapeutic parenting, the impact of early trauma on the developing brain, and best practices in the child welfare system. In her work with Tennessee’s Adoption Support and Preservation (ASAP) program, Allison provides direct services to adoptive families as a part of Harmony’s multidisciplinary ASAP team. Allison holds an Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Endorsement, is certified in Phases I and II of The Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics and is a Neurosequential Model in Education trainer. She is a Napa Infant-Parent & Early Childhood Mental Health fellow and was selected for the 2022-23 All Educators cohort at The Fred Rogers Institute. Allison brings her lived experience as an adoptive parent of four children to her work.


Recommended Resources

  1. You can learn more about Harmony Family Center for adoption support in East Tennessee, here: https://harmonyfamilycenter.org/
  2. Learn more about the Neurosequential Model, developed by Dr. Bruce Perry, here: https://www.neurosequential.com/
  3. Connect with Allison on LinkedIn and other social media platforms (@harmonyfamilycenter)


A Dose of Motivation

“After all, children are children no matter their background.” – Julie Andrews


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Music in this episode is from "Good Ol' Man" (©2022) by Drew Green and reproduced with permission from Drew Green.